The Libra File and Style: Little White Lies

Monday, September 14, 2020

Little White Lies

One day I remember taking my children with me to the grocery store. They were probably about the same age as my grandchildren are now, maybe 9 and 10, something like that.

For some reason we wound up talking about not liking something, not sure whether it was a person or a grocery or what, but the subject came up as to when you tell the truth and when you tell a "little white lie." It seemed like it was OK to say you don't like carrots but it wasn't OK to say you didn't like your friend's friend, Bobby Anderson.

Basically we came to the conclusion that you never want to purposely hurt someone's feelings so you might "fudge" a bit. Instead of saying you don't like a person's friend you might say who you like to play with. Or instead of saying you didn't want to go to someone's house, you might say that you have to baby sit for your brother or that you are grounded or that your grandmother comes to see you on Saturdays. Maybe you have to use all those excuses before that person finally gets the message that he is not on the top of your "go visit list." Whatever your "little white lie," I cautioned that you never really want to get caught, so be sure to avoid saying something where the truth would finally get out. Perhaps you had no grandmother or your mother volunteered to your friend that you weren't grounded or your brother is too old to have a baby sitter.

Finally we all came to the conclusion that we could always tell the truth to each other because we're family. It was just not always a good idea to tell others! There was comfort in that.

Figuring out how to craft a perfect "white lie" doesn't always work for those of us who like to tell the truth. I always had difficulty with this. And it always amazed me when others were so good at it.